Online

If my husband is any indication, we Filipinos are slowly learning that we can just sit on our lazy asses, cultivate cellulite between the cheeks and let our fingers do all the shopping. Getting an item delivered to you from E-bay can take all of ten minutes without the agony of infinity pools of sweat (yours and other shopper’s) and failing deodorant.

Yes, online shopping is uber convenient but I’d hate to be on the receiving end of bricks and rocks. I’ve heard about this before but never actually thought it happens often in the U.S. Customers buy electronic products only to later find out that their product boxes contain nothing more than the prehistoric equivalent of new technology— bricks and rocks. It’s either there have been a lot of naughty buyers or evil elves behind the counters. One investigative story here hazards an explanation.

That’s easy, you say. After all, in the U.S. a customer can complain all the time and still get a full body massage, a lollipop and a trip to Disneyland. Apparently though, the famed American customer service is no longer a gold standard. Now you can be passed from one rep to another from the Atlantic to the Pacific and there’s nothing you can “sue” about it.

If I got a box of bricks instead of a Mac, I might just skip customer service and start throwing bricks in the dead of the night instead.

*Photo from Big Foto

Once again, I, the library-bred, overprotected product of Catholic education, got another crack on my colored glasses. I grew up thinking that it was impossible for anyone to be evil or malicious by nature. I always assumed, “That twisted creep is intent on inducing hemorrhoids in everyone because he can’t get over the fact that he got teased as a kid for fancying pink tutus.”

Imagine my surprise when I met some trolls online. The more proper term for these demented online rejects from hell is flamebaiters. An online guru, several years my junior but with the white beard of an online hermit, told me that flamebaiters/trolls have no reason or dark driving force that compels them to do what they do. They simply derive satisfaction in entering forums to foment dissent, insult people and make everyone miserable.

One forum I joined is currently in the ICU and is on artificial life support after many of its top participants decided to leave or make a silent protest. Who can blame them? The battle with the trolls left a devastating trail of blood, bile and entrails that has leaked beyond the borders of the online world through dirty sneak attacks in the real world.

The forum is a highly formal one. Many of its members are top executives from multinational companies who had no idea they had more than giant lice in their hair. After the disappearance of its high profile members, all I can hear now is the beeping of the respirator.

I just can’t believe that there are bad people who were born trolls.

*Illustration by JNL

I am sorry. If a head of state can use the same line and make an entire nation forget her less than sparkling trail of shit, I can say it too and be forgiven, right?

One of the most controversial statements that rocked the Pinoy blogosphere in 2008 came from socialite Malu Fernandez. For those who don’t remember or never knew about the foot in her mouth incident, this is what she had to say about blogging and bloggers:

“But blogging, aside from Perez Hilton and other big time bloggers (you know who you are) is for me a slacker job or a medium and pastime for lonely people to connect. Unless you’re in bloody Siberia or in a Gulag prison, try stepping outside your comfort zone and turn off the laptop or pc, you just might find some real live people to talk to instead of typing away in cyber space.” —Malu Fernandez in Manila Standard Today

Needless to say, her statement, name and reputation were all dragged into the virtual town square and beaten till blue. I participated gleefully in the beating but even at that time, I had no idea to what extent Fernandez had been mistaken.

I finally met a famous person. For a moment in time, I was within breathing distance of Blogie, a Mindanao blogger so exceptional that fate had decreed him worthy to in turn swap air with WordPress founder and every female blogger’s dream geek charming, Matt Mullenweg. If there is any truth to the new age, self-help, photocopied teaching available in Gullible Alley, my recent association with greatness will prompt the universe to reward me with an equally promising future in the blogosphere.

I guess the positive energies of the universe are taking longer than usual to reward me maybe because it can’t find my tiny corner in its vastness. Either that or the universe doesn’t know enough SEO to give me a lift. Nonetheless, the meeting with Blogie did not disappoint. Surprisingly though, the greatest insight I got from it was not the fact that earning through blogging is more difficult than curing hernia through positive thinking. It was the realization that Cagayan de Oro (CDO) may be missing an identity.

Apparently, there is a big chance that CDO will host next year’s Mindanao Bloggers’ Summit. One requirement is a standard logo for CDO bloggers. We’ve got a fabulous green logo actually but it seems we don’t have the equivalent of Gen San’s tuna and Davao’s eagle on it. Mistress of WordPress themes, ChiQ Montes mentioned that it could be because CDO lacks an identity.



As a Cebuana born in Baguio, ChiQ’s observation seemed accurate to me. My first few years in CDO did not give me a strong sensation of the city’s uniqueness like the scent of Baguio’s pine and the feel of Cebu’s queenship did.



It was only after the meeting concluded that I remembered that CDO did have an identity. Long before it became an adventure capital, long before Emano attached 3Bs to its name (Bloom, Blossom, Boom?), long before it became popular as an open entry port, it was (still is?) the City of Golden Friendship. It is uncertain whether this second name is an intended or an accidental reference to its name, Cagayan de Oro which has a number of translations depending on who you’re asking. It may roughly mean river of gold/ to rake the soil for rocks or gold ore.



Indeed before the city’s hospitality bore a resemblance to the value of gold, CDO’s river sputtered gold. I remember how a former city counselor, who was once my host before I decided to finally live in the city, took gold from the river and fashioned it into two rings, one for him and one for his Visayan bride. When opportunity gave him the chance to leave for an adventure abroad, he gave it up to return to his golden city and his golden friendships.



This is a golden city, a literal and figurative modern El Dorado at the mouth of Mindanao. But because I’m not a creative designer I wouldn’t know how to fit that into a logo. Besides, the gold concept can’t help but bring to my mind CDO bloggers sporting bling bling in gold which is just plain freaky.

*Photo credits to ChiQ, Butiti and that PJoe’s waiter

I’ve always had people problems. Let me rephrase that. I have a problem with people. I don’t exactly run away screaming at the sight of people— YET, but I do prefer to go solo most of the time. That’s why friends usually get offended when I decline invitations for communal binging and I get wide-eyed stares of surprise from acquaintances when they catch me plying my air conditioned primary residence that is the mall.

That’s it. I need a back up plan. It’s been more than a year and I’m still in my little workspace beside my bed. It hasn’t been for lack of trying. I’ve gotten browner and I’ve lost the soles of my shoes to the heat of concrete pavements, once nearly walking barefoot in an industrial jungle. It was after a hopeful chat with yet another weary executive who probably wished he could’ve swapped soles with me if it meant a moment of freedom from the rigors of his suit and brick cage.

The war of the words has begun. I’m not referring to the pitiful display of escapist eloquence in the farcical senate hearings we are often painfully subjected to. I am referring to verbal hostilities much closer to my turf. It’s the Filipino online writers vs. foreign clients (Ting. Round one. Fight.).

Every new blogger who bothers to research about blogging before opening a blog will invariably come across the unsolicited advice to opt for a custom template or lay-out. That is an especially good advice if you have an account with Blogger.com. Although the default templates provided are fabulous (I’m only saying this because I don’t know squat about coding and the technical blah, blah that makes some blogs glow despite below the poverty line content) using them would be the equivalent of wearing a Catholic school uniform. You’ll look just like every other classmate with a hair clip, leg-long skirt and black shoes. In short, you are likely going to share a blog design with thousands of other Hilton/Yuga/Gorrell hopefuls.

“But blogging, aside from Perez Hilton and other big time bloggers (you know who you are) is for me a slacker job or a medium and pastime for lonely people to connect. Unless you’re in bloody Siberia or in a Gulag prison, try stepping outside your comfort zone and turn off the laptop or pc, you just might find some real live people to talk to instead of typing away in cyber space.” —Malu Fernandez in Manila Standard Today

Why do I blog?

I blog because

despite certain circumstances showing otherwise, the constitution says this is a free country where freedom of expression is allowed. I have a right to discuss, to debate and to have a say about the things that matter to me and that affect me. Blogging is as legitimate as gathering in the streets to bang on the palace gates and clamor for change. It is as legitimate as speaking from a podium to rouse the sleepy masses. It is as legitimate as writing for a national publication to prompt awareness into action and because we can’t all be fortunate enough to become high society columnists who get paid even for spewing nonsense, I chose to blog. I have the right to my opinion whether you will read it or not.

I blog because

I recognize technology and respect its rightful place in an inevitable future that will improve and reinvent the past but will not repeat it. Although some things will never change, those that will change in the realms of business, communication, education, science and art shall embrace the digital and virtual era as a part and a complement of who and what they are. The virtual world is real and alive. Only those who refuse to broaden their horizons, explore possibilities and leave the comforts of an old age will be left where they are.

I blog because

it is a powerful tool with which to discharge my social responsibility. I know that there are social, political and environmental ills plaguing our reality. I know that there is a need for responsible leadership, social revolution, environmental accountability and activism within oneself. What shall I do with this knowledge? Aside from acting on it, I also have the duty to tell others of what I know and push them to act. Even if only one person realizes some form of truth because of me and decides to be moved, then I would have been justly rewarded. I would not exchange this opportunity to influence for more money than I can count.

I blog because

I have substance. I have a richness of experience that I cannot keep to myself and that cannot possibly be borne out of nothing or out of a false and lonely existence. Writers can only write from experience. If I had lived in the loneliness of virtual isolation, I would have nothing to write about, but even some of those who do live apart from vibrant society, have far clearer insights into life truths than those who claim to own the attention and admiration of legions.

I blog because

I can. I have a skill possessed by many but not by everyone. I will not waste it but far from using it to enrich myself, I will use it first for no other reason than because it is what I do best. I would be a fool to attempt to chart other waters that I do not love when I have been given the gift of words which I do love and the skill to weave them. I am only guilty of using a gift in the only way that it can see the light of day, even if it is only a virtual light. It would be a greater sin to let it rot in my breast because I cannot hawk it in the streets. If by chance I do grow rich because of this skill, it is merely a bonus.

I blog because

I am driven by my creative spirit. Although I respect structure and conventions, I do not have to survive yet under their restrictions. My online passion is yet to be studied, understood and categorized for the benefit of those who must define or those who comprehend only through structures. Today I am free.

I blog because

I bloody hell just want to. It is an interest, an inclination, a desire. It is not a defect or a sign of social retardation. I have nothing against those who stitch crosses all day, those who drink coffee while swapping their neighbors’ dirty linen or those who walk their feet sore going from one window display to another. People should have enough respect not to mind me if I choose to bleed my brains dry over my virtual parchment.

*For Blog Awards Challenge 01