Caustic Thoughts

Random funny thoughts with a taste of Pinoy and a hint of acid.

I Would Like to Thank My Sponsors…

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Entertainment talk shows and variety shows are a staple in the Philippines. If you watch any of these shows, you would notice that they all share one distinct feature that is uniquely Filipino. I’m not talking about the high class circus acts where the performing animals belong to the highest level in the animal kingdom and who are uniformly inclined towards airing out their privies, eating habits, mating practices and prey decapitation techniques. I’m talking about the part where the hosts shove Kleenex to a bawling guest who just lost her husband to a plump Lolita as a way of discreetly telling her to get a life so they can move on to thank their sponsors.

Yes, it seems it’s only really in the Philippines that most talk shows have a long “I would like to thank my sponsors…” segment. One show has so perfected the art that they have set aside one minute for every host to thank sponsors. A large digital clock ticks from behind where all the viewers can see it as they listen to a barely coherent list of eyewear, make up, wardrobe and liposuction providers. If they poured out a torrent of expletives, I wouldn’t have noticed.
In true Filipino talk show fashion, I would like to take a minute to thank a couple of entities. I would like to thank Roberto Cavalli for my eyewear, Kate Torralba for my gown, my mother for my underwear and the discount cosmetic surgeon underneath the overpass for the six pack abs he buried even further under all my fat. Kidding aside, I would seriously like to thank a couple of people, mostly my friends and the limited few who have discovered my insanity and genius at the same time.
Thank you Zkey for the wonderful blog award you gave me. “This 5-Star Blog Award is given to a blogger whose blog is of highest classification.A blog of excellence in the following criteria:- content, design and style, informative and accommodating.” In a similar gesture, I would like to pass on the award to other people who have great blogs. This is for you Uri, Pepe, Rocky, Jugu and Beaple.
I would also like to thank Nostalgia Manila for making me last week’s Nostalgia Bloggista. All those who wonder what I look like can take a peek at my cute self two decades ago when I had an excuse to be adorable and before I got the rings under my eyes and the hollow space in my chest.
My one minute is done.

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